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Frantic Post

1. Pretty good weekend.
2. Took a day off from work.
3. Magazine nearly done.
4. Got much done at work today.
5. Spaghetti for dinner tonight.

I am thankful for...
1. The Internet.
2. This laptop.
3. Bottled Water.
4. JOLT! Gum.
5. Today.

I'm hearing right now...
Styx - Come Sail Away

I'm feeling Frantic.

Sorry for not posting much here. I’ve been terribly busy with blogging! magazine and what not. I’ve got a few other things up my sleeve that I want to tell you all about in the next few days.

Onwards with the personal life.

Things have been on the up and down here as of late. Mostly up though to be honest. Which is a good change from six months ago when everything was on the downward slope. I’ve been busy which keeps my mind off anything that might be bad and I’ve been working harder then normal and fielding job offers from two places all the while working my main job and working on the magazine and other various projects. So I’ve been quite busy as one can imagine.

More to come tomorrow morning once things are rolling.

Posted on février 28, 2005 at 07:54 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)


Today I am starting to realize that while I was at home recoping from being sick and missing FIVE WEEKS of work that bills suck. They suck a lot. A whole lot. Not working for five weeks means not making money. Not making money means you don’t pay the bills. Not paying the bills = bad.

So what do I do? I’m behind. I don’t really have the money to pay them all at the moment. I ask for your help. I hate panhandling and I especially hate it of the digital type… so here is what I am asking.

Give me four dollars via PayPal using the link here in this entry on the sidebar and I’ll give you thirty minutes of my time. For thirty minutes I’ll do what you ask of me. Need a website design? Need some coding help? Need someone to just talk with? You name it… you’ve got it.

A few restrictions. I can’t really leave the area. I can’t afford it so please don’t ask. So try to make it something we can take care of here online, or via the telephone. If you live in my area then maybe will talk about it but seriously I just can afford to be out and about all that much right now.

Nothing illegal. So don’t ask.

Need consulting? Need ideas. You buy it here.

Fill out the form and hit submit. Simple enough. Follow my progress on the sidebar.

UPDATE: You aren't just paying to talk with me. I'll help you execute these ideas as well. Maybe I'll type that report for you... maybe I'll design that site, whatever it is. You can buy my time to help you.

Once you've sent the money I will email you back at your PayPal address to get in touch.

Posted on février 26, 2005 at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Commentaires (1)

New Weekend

1. Had fun last night.
2. Saw Shayler.
3. Ate Cinammon Sticks!
4. Work went well.
5. I'm still alive.

I am thankful for...
1. My Love.
2. Shayler.
3. Kristin.
4. Megan.
5. Air!!!

I'm hearing right now...
Kenny Chesney - She's Got It All

I'm feeling Whatever.

blogging! magazine is chugging along quite nicely right now. If you haven’t read about it then smack yourself in the face because I am trying my damn hardest to get you to read about it and maybe take me up on the free trial issue offer. I think I will sweeten the deal a bit though. Read about blogging! magazine then come here and be on of the first five people to comment that you are taking me up on the offer and then e-mail [email protected] with your name, e-mail address, desired username, and desired password and I will send you six months of the magazine at no cost. Hurry. Five people only.

Now onward with the tales of my life.
Where do I start? What do I say? I’m totally confused and unsure anymore. Things by definition have been great here the past few weeks. Things seem to be on the up and up… for the most part. I’ve got some problems I’m trying to deal with and I don’t seem to be getting help with them but rather just adversity. My saying that will create tension even and that isn’t my goal. I’m just asking for help.

Deep down I’m hurting sometimes. I feel like the best thing in my life might slip away from me if I don’t get better at coping with the stuff in my life. I’ve been doing my best to just deal with stuff and I know I am doing a much better job then six months ago. I’m still not doing all that great but recovery doesn’t just happen overnight.

I feel I’m not interesting anymore, I feel I don’t keep attention, I feel that I am not always good enough. I can’t let those feelings get in the way. I know that I do keep attention from most people, I know that I am interesting to most people and I know that I am good enough just the way I am for most people. I know my feelings are completely based on really nothing… I know that this isn’t how reality is and that I don’t need to be so negative. So I’m trying to not be. I also know however that I need that support… I need that help that she can provide me right now. I need it really bad. I know that she needs mine. I know she knows that I will give her all my support. I’ll give her everything and anything she needs until I can’t give anymore.

On the happy side of things… work has been pretty good here recently. I have been trying to keep busy and things seem pretty good. I miss a lot of my friends from Best Buy and I hope that I will be seeing them again soon.

Posted on février 26, 2005 at 07:50 AM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)

Second Best

1. Work has been good.
2. Went shopping today.
3. Saw my friends.
4. Ate well.
5. Accomplished much.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. Bryan.
4. Sleep.
5. My Father.

I'm hearing right now...
Good Charlotte - Girls and Boys

I'm feeling Confused.

Second Best. Sometimes that is how we feel. Second Best… second place may seem all well and dandy but it is the first loser in the race.

Second Best. Indicating that you aren’t quite up to par to that which is first best.

Posted on février 24, 2005 at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (1)


1. An AWESOME weekend.
2. Work was GREAT.
3. Today was pretty good overall.
4. Discovered a new friend.
5. Feeling great.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. Staples.
4. Chad.
5. My Father.

I'm hearing right now...
REO Speedwagon - Keep on Loving You

I'm feeling Happy.

The weekend ended up being a great one that ended up being very revealing and I think that events this weekend have changed my life and I will feel them for many years to come. Just when I thought that the weekend brought about many changes I went back to work today for the first time in ages and found that life was changed even further with more revelations.

This weekend was spent having fun with friends, finding myself, working, and picking new directions. I think overall it was a weekend with time well spent. This week the direction I am looking forward to taking is the one this weekend took, more exploration, more having fun and more of doing the things I enjoy.

Amanda told me that I am running a mini-marathon and that right now I’m on mile three. I think that if things keep going as they did just this weekend and today that I will find myself running this race and quite a quick pace. I’ve got other journeys I’m working on in my life and I’ve decided that the best way to ensure success is to track your progress. That is why I am adding a few new boxes to the sidebar that will help me track where I am in my marathons and mini-marathons. Amanda is truly wise beyond her years and has helped me through many things.

I want to tell everyone that is close to my life that I appreciate you. That I appreciate the things you bring in to your relationship with me and I want to make sure I eventually acknowledge all of you on here.

I hate to run already but the time is now 2:15am and I have to be up at 6am to make it to work on time. Catch you on the flipside.

Posted on février 22, 2005 at 02:16 AM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)

Weekend Update [Not SNL]

1. A good weekend thus far.
2. Start work again tomorrow.
3. Watched 'Dawn of the Dead' last night.
4. blogging! magazine still doing well.
5. Slept well.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. Megan.
4. Video Rentals.
5. Friends.

I'm hearing right now...
Akon - Lonely
Loverboy - Working for the Weekend

I'm feeling Abused.

I wake up today asking myself where did the weekend go? It seems like Friday was just yesterday… but it wasn’t…. Saturday was yesterday.

The weekend has been fun that is one thing for sure. All weekend thus far. Will today prove to be as fun as the rest of the weekend? For this I am unsure but I personally believe it will be quite fun.

Overall my mood this weekend has been a good one and things are going well on most fronts in my life. blogging! magazine is doing well, SpywareWatch is doing well and a few of the new secret projects that I haven’t even began to mention on here seem to be starting off well. Things on the home front are decent with little arguing today and things on the other front seem alright for the moment.

I had Subway today for lunch. I’ve been having it a lot lately. Since they started toasting the subs I find I love it even more then before. The Chicken Bacon Ranch sub is pure genius and one of my favorite sub offerings.

Sadly I hate to run already but the weekend has been a busy one and I’ve got a list of things to do.

Posted on février 20, 2005 at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)

Living with Depression

1. blogging! magazine response good.
2. Had FUN Last night.
3. Saw Hide and Seek.
4. Got another project to launch SOON.
5. Slept today.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. Rae.
4. John.
5. "Dr. Pepper"

I'm hearing right now...
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Green Day - Basket Case

I'm feeling Happy.

I mentioned that I do this blog because I am trying to recover from depression. That of course is an indication that I am depressed. Being a person with depression isn’t as always as one would think and it takes a whole different kind of person to deal with someone who is depressed. Taking care of someone like myself mustn’t be easy as I like to see the negative and it is harder then you can imagine to see the positive of a situation. It seems easy to say just do it but when you are depressed you can’t sometimes. If you are lucky you can try and sometimes if you are manic you can be on top of the world and others feel like everything is going wrong.

Sometimes it is hard for people to tell what stage I am in. Others they’ve only seen me when I’m manic happy instead of manic depressed. Regardless both sides exist and both extremes are VERY extreme with rare occasions of control where I am in the center. Either I’m really happy or I’m really sad.

I think that some of my closest friends in specific one have had a hard time dealing with this. I can understand that. It isn’t easy dealing with someone with this condition such as myself. As a matter of fact it can be quite hard. Sometimes I want to just tell her I’m sorry I am the way I am. I hate myself for it. I hate that I can’t change myself as easily as she believes. I hate that I hurt her and hurt myself.

I am getting better. I am getting more positive. I think most of my readers will agree with that. Since I started this thing ages ago I’ve seen improvement and so have many people close to me in my life. Starting today I am going to do better though. Starting today I am going to always look at the positive of a situation no matter how hard.

I know sometimes I will have a lapse. I know that is a negative self-fulfilling prophecy but I am trying to not lie to myself… however I expect them to be short and I expect to get better faster.

I am going to need your help. I am going to need help especially and I hope she reads this and understands that.

Posted on février 19, 2005 at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (1)

Finally Revealed

2. Site is LIVE.
3. Success #4.
4. More to come though.
5. Getting food soon.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. The Interweb.
4. Support.
5. Music.

I'm hearing right now...
Keith Urban - You'Re My Better Half

I'm feeling Excited.

This entry is short but sweet..... blogging! magazine is here.

Posted on février 18, 2005 at 12:47 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)

Spyware Watch Goes Live

1. Spyware Watch IS LIVE..
2. Another site has gone live.
3. Secret Project just about ready.
4. First announcement done.
5. The Big Announcement is coming soon.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. Jim Turner.
4. Subway.
5. The Interweb.

I'm hearing right now...
Skype Call

I'm feeling Loved.

While this isn’t the BIG SECRET PROJECT that I’ve been talking about for the past several days this is a project that I’ve been working on in secrecy and I’m quite proud to quickly launch here on my blog today.

The site is called and it has one primary goal. To inform users of Spyware news and information. The tagline for this site reads ‘Watching Those Whom Watch You’.

I sincerely hope that you will enjoy this site and find the information on it most useful.

Posted on février 17, 2005 at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Commentaires (3)

Gmail Going Live Soon?

1. Gmail getting ready to go.
2. Project Success #3.
3. Got new site running.
4. Have two announcements to make soon.
5. Getting Subway shortly.

I am thankful for...
1. God.
2. My love.
3. The Interweb.
4. Girl Scout Cookies.
5. Air.

I'm hearing right now...
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way

I'm feeling Loved.

I got an e-mail at [email protected] today from Google about the latest happenings with Gmail. They are finally starting to send accounts to the people who requested an update on Gmail many moons ago. (I signed up for an update on April 1st 2004). Nearly one year later it seems the service is getting closer and closer to launch. It also appears that I will win my wager and not lose 50 bucks.

Hi there,

Thanks for signing up to be updated on the latest Gmail happenings. We hope it's been worth the wait, because we're excited to finally offer you an invitation to open a free Gmail account! Just click on this link to create your new account:

[Link Removed... If you want Gmail click here for info about my UNLIMITED INVITES]

Since last April, we've been working hard to create the best email service possible. It already comes with 1,000 megabytes of free storage, powerful Google search technology to find any message you want instantly, and a new way of organizing email that saves you time and helps you make sense of all the information in your inbox.

And here are just some of the things that we've added in the last few months:

- Free POP access: Take your messages with you. Download them, read them offline, access them using Outlook, your Blackberry or any other device that supports POP

- Gmail Notifier: Get new mail notifications and see the messages and their senders without having to open a browser

- Better contacts management: Import your contacts from Yahoo! Mail, Hotmail, Outlook, and others to Gmail in just a few clicks. Add phone numbers, notes and more. Even use search to keep better track of it all.

We also wanted to thank you. For showing us your support and for being so patient. And to those who have already signed up for Gmail, thank you for giving it a try and for helping us make it better. Our users are what have made this product great. So whether you're just signing up for your account or you've been with us since the beginning, keep letting us know how we can build you the best email service around.

That's it for now. We hope you like Gmail and will share it with your friends. We've got lots of cool new stuff planned and we can't wait for you to see our work in your Gmail accounts! Stay tuned...

The Gmail Team

Posted on février 17, 2005 at 11:42 AM | Permalink | Commentaires (0)